Place people before labels

He’s so gay, he hangs out with all the girls and just listen to how he talks. Wow, I bet she is a lesbian, with her short hair and tomboy look. Look at me, I wear mainstream clothes, I’m not a huge fan of Lady Gaga, and my hair is average, I must be straight. Your best friend who never dates must be too, and he’s such a flirt you wonder why he doesn’t.

My friend came out to me. She wears pink almost every day and all the guys think they have a chance. How come no one calls goth people lesbians when they wear tomboy clothes? How come no one calls the popular guy gay when he wears pink? How do you know someone’s sexuality based on looks and interests?

And even if you could, why does it matter? That person is still the same person you knew before you learned that one fact. There is no rule book or dress code to being gay, bi, pan, etc. If there was, would bisexual people wear a dress with pants on and pansexuals just wear their whole closet? I have been pansexual for years, yet I get comments like, “How come your hair is long?” and, “Does that mean you’re gonna hit on me?” and, “You don’t look like it.”

The only way you could tell by looking is seeing me holding my genderfluid significant other’s hand in the hallways, someone who society has labeled as a girl.

Even then you would still think of me as only gay, without knowing that I’m attracted to all genders. And my “girlfriend” actually identifies gender as throughout the gender spectrum, binary or not. I don’t blame people for thinking this way; it’s what we were raised with. It would be nice, however, if people weren’t so quick to judge.