Conforming Through Fashion
“She’s a hoe.”
That’s the type of thing I’ve heard people say, amongst countless others, simply because of how I dressed.
Upon entering high school, I was in the midst of discovering my style and figuring out what clothes made me feel good. Fashion became a form of self discovery, a way to feel confident and aligned with who I was.
I wanted to dress y2k, bold, and glamorous; I wanted to wear a style that I admired. For me, it embodied confidence and femininity.
When I finally started bringing my ideas to life, the harassment began. People would make assumptions about my character and rumors spread. I would get harassed and made fun of by my peers and catcalled by grown men for having more unique ways of dressing — such as a whaletail.
In the beginning, I didn’t care, but overtime I became more and more self conscious not only of my fashion, but myself too.
The harassment began chipping away at the little self confidence I had so desperately tried to build. I felt like I owed people an explanation that I was more than my fashion choices. I began dressing in ways that I thought more people would like. I was trying to win the crowd over, to appease everyone, while losing myself.
Fashion no longer felt exciting or as fulfilling. I felt like I could no longer be myself and lost a lot of confidence.
However, as I spoke to people I looked up to and questioned why I felt the need to conform, I stopped affirming the belief that it was my fault for being judged–that I needed to change. Not only that, I had others around me who remained true to their fashion despite constant criticism and I admired that. I slowly got the courage to start dressing up for myself again despite backlash.
Through this, I gained a crucial lesson: the people who you want in your life wouldn’t judge you based on your appearance. They’ll value and see you for who you are without any explanation.
No one should be judged for how they present themselves through fashion choices, nor should they be harassed in any shape or form. It creates an unsafe environment that discourages self expression and enforces conformity.
Overall, people should not judge others for being different, but rather ask themselves why they feel discomfort when someone chooses to present themselves differently and face their own internal biases.
Instead of changing to appeal to others or trying to conform, we should embrace diversity, a catalyst for progression and empowerment in society.
Thank you so much for this strong, powerful piece of writing! I appreciate you sharing your experience with others.
This article is powerful! Props to you for sharing your experiences with others who can relate and giving them the confidence to dress for themselves. I’m always impressed by your style, and I’m glad that you’re dressing for yourself and not others.
I think it is so awesome that you continue to stick to your style and dress for you, despite what others have to say, because nowadays people say some messed up stuff and we shouldn’t be judged just for fashion which is literally self expression.
I respect those who are not afraid to express themselves through fashion. It takes a lot of courage to stand out. This article is wonderful! I hope you continue to be yourself despite its challenges.
I’m glad you found your style! 😀
I admire people who have the confidence to pull off their look, and I hope someday these alternative styles can be accepted and admired in spaces outside of them.
It personally took me a long time to realize how much more important it is to be a good person to be around, rather than just someone who looks nice.
Great article, very enjoyable read.
The writing in this article is strong, this moves me a lot!
Thank you for being willing to not only dress how you feel like dressing and express yourself, but also for being willing to share your experience with others.