Single people: celebrate Agatha’s Day

Roses are red, violets are blue, Valentine’s Day sucks if you’re single too! It seems like everywhere I look there’s nothing but roses and red candy boxes. Sappy pink cards and heart-shaped lollipops swarm stores.

All of this is fine and dandy if you have that special someone to share it with. For a significant portion of the population however, it’s just an excuse for stores to raise candy prices and sell more cards.

Not that I’m knocking the idea of Valentine’s Day. I think it’s great that people take time to show their significant others how much they care for them. I just think it is highly inconsiderate to hold a holiday celebrating couples, while completely ignoring those many, many people who are single.

During the Christmas season, people go out of their way to say “Happy Holidays,” including Hanukkah and Kwanzaa celebrators. But no one seems to give a whit about single people on Valentine’s Day and honestly, being ignored kind of sucks.

So to all those reading this who are devoid of that special someone, I propose a new holiday, Agatha’s Day. In the Catholic church, Agatha is the patron saint of single women. This holiday will be celebrated at the same time as Valentine’s Day, but will be completely devoid of cards and cupids. Instead, the colors associated will be forest green and blue, any and all chocolate boxes will be nicely rectangular, and most importantly, under no circumstances will stupid rhymes about sugar and flowers be uttered.

I have nothing but good wishes for my all my friends in happy relationships, but would politely ask them not to rub their joy in my face and wish me a happy Agatha’s Day.