“I’m just a person”: Trans students share their experiences
Since the legalization of gay marriage in 2015, society has been learning more about and accepting the LGBTQ+ community more. LGBTQ+ rights are a much bigger topic in media now, but transgender and non-binary voices still struggle to be heard. CVHS has a large LGBTQ+ community which includes many transgender and non-binary people. Many transgender and non-binary people go though the process of changing their name and pronouns and these CVHS students are no different.
“Coming out as a trans woman has been an interesting experience to say the least. I have my name and gender changed with the school yet most teachers don’t seem to respect that,” said senior Ari Arellano. “I find it extremely ironic that the school preaches about equality and that they’re welcoming of all people yet have very limited accommodations for transgender individuals.”
“I appreciate the teachers who have a sheet where it asks for names and pronouns at the beginning of the year, it makes things really easy,” said senior Quinn Villalobos. Villalobos uses they/them pronouns and had their nickname changed on the roster to their name by asking their counselor about it. Since it’s only listed as a nickname on the roster it doesn’t show up on Aeries and some teachers and substitutes don’t see it listed—they overlook it.
“I had a horrible experience where I gently corrected a sub and there was a column of preferred names and his response was ‘I don’t care.’ I don’t think it was intended to be malicious, I think it was just his response to being corrected—but it still really hurt,” Villalobos recollects.
Many people who change their names and/or pronouns struggle with people around them making the change; sometimes it takes people a while to wrap their head around it or even to understand it. The Bay Area is a pretty progressive and accepting place for the LGBTQ+ community but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t struggles.
“Overall it’s been mostly okay, aside from the usual, ‘Oh, I don’t get they/them pronouns,’ or ‘oh, but you’re a singular person,’ from some students, not a whole lot, and then also being deadnamed by my counselor a few times,” said Villalobos.
Deadnaming is when a person uses someone’s birth name as opposed to their preferred name.
“Coming out honestly was fine for me. No one I previously knew questioned my name change and just went with it—including teachers and admin. The only annoying part is pronouns; no one looks at me and assumes, ‘oh I should use they/them pronouns for this person.’ They tend to go with she/her most of the time and most of the time I’m too awkward to correct them,” said senior Jamie Prout.
A complaint from both Prout and Villalobos was Google account names. The school is aware of both of their preferred names but their “dead names” still come up on the Google accounts which leads to confusion and awkward conversations with classmates when they have to do things such as share Google documents.
Arellano also pointed out that the school is rather inconsistent with accommodations for trangender and nonbinary students: there are gender neutral bathrooms but students often can’t use them because they are closed. The process of changing one’s name requires paperwork, Arellano said, but even when it’s been long changed, Arellano still gets randomly deadnamed on her school accounts.
“People seem to dehumanize me without even realising it, they seem to have ideas of what a trans woman is but they’re so far from the truth. I’m just a person, in fact, me being trans is one of the least interesting things about me,” stated Arellano.
Literally. Getting deadnamed is so awkward and there are way too little gender neutral bathrooms I end up just going to my agab bathroom
I think that school acts like they are 100% inclusive of all students in all aspects, yet there is still so much room for improvement. Letting someone have the simple pleasure of being referred to as their correct name and pronouns shouldn’t be difficult; it is common decency.
The school needs to put more effort into being truly inclusive to all students. There may be signs all over the the hallways that say “All are welcome here,” but does this really matter if transgender students feel as if they aren’t being accommodated? It’s disappointing to see that teachers and even students ignore trans students because acknowledging someone’s pronouns is just basic respect. Also, I really like Ari’s last quote.
“It’s unfortunate that the school preaches equality and diversity while making the bare minimum amount of effort to actually accomodate minority kids — almost as if they just want to look woke and don’t actually care… Hmm…”
^^^^^
I completely agree
I really hope that going forward not just students but also teachers can be way more inclusive towards the trans and non-binary members of the LGBTQ+ community. Even if teachers believe that there are only 2 genders (which is not true) the least they could do is keep their beliefs to themselves and respect their students and call them by the name they want to be called and use the pronouns they have asked people to use.
I think it’s really interesting how some teachers would receive private emails from students with different preferred names and/or pronouns, and completely ignore or forget their wishes. It’s hard for kids already to deal with ignorant peers/family members, and to add school as an unsafe place for their identity is terrible.
be yourself
I think this is really sad that how some of these teachers blatantly ignore pronouns even though they “are for” equality. As students, it is our job to speak up of such things and to not be quiet.
Be yourself and don’t let the hater keep you from enjoying your life. People who care about your safety are your real friends.
It’s unfortunate that the school preaches equality and diversity while making the bare minimum amount of effort to actually accomodate minority kids — almost as if they just want to look woke and don’t actually care… Hmm…
This makes me upset that the world is still like this, my experience as a trans non-binary person so far hasn’t been the greatest, I already had to cut off of one of my friend groups bc someone in that group said “I hate all them LGBTQ kids they’re so annoying”. When I consulted one of my close friends about this they just told me “imma enjoy my night” and that I ruined their Halloween night. Acting like their Halloween is more important than my sense of safety and comfort. I would say that they aren’t actually transphobic but that’s being too nice. They straight up just don’t understand what it’s like to live in my position bc they’re comfortable with their gender identity. I’m done letting these people walk all over me. It’s time I fought back for once. IM DONE!