Stink bomber caught, suspended

The month of May was certainly painful for the staff and students of 700 Hall. Students detonated numerous stink bombs, making students and teachers smell horrible smells that should never, ever be smelled. One girl was finally caught and suspended.

The first occurrence of these bombings began early this year but soon dissipated as the year progressed. Suddenly, with no warning, the culprits launched a bombardment upon CVHS. On May 20 at about 2:00 p.m., a loud pop went off in front of 702 and the horror began. A smell matching the nauseous odor of rotting eggs entered the nostrils of hundreds of students and chaos ensued.

For the next two days, nothing happened. All was well at CVHS. But then a double attack occurred. On May 23 at approximately 2:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m. students were savagely covered in the smog of stink bomb gas. Again this occurred in 700 Hall. These attacks continued for the next three days.

An epidemic in this proportion has never been imagined, and the staff and students – except by the  stink bombers – did their best to fight through these hard times, catching one girl near the end of the month.

“Although one perpetrator has been caught, we are sure many remain,” reported Assistant Principal Matt Steinecke. “We will only be able to solve this problem with everyone’s help. Remember: evil thrives when good people do nothing.”

CVHS may never see an end to these horrific attacks and may never know who the rest of the culprits are. But one thing we know for sure, the staff and students will continue to fight the good fight, for justice, liberty and the protection of stink bomb-free education.