A lifetime; what are our best highlights?

When I was in sixth grade, I received a B on one of my assignments and I was so disappointed with myself. I tried everything I could to get my teacher to regrade it but she didn’t. I remember being so upset and so frustrated. I still ended the year with an A+, but at that moment I was so unhappy I couldn’t be perfect. 

Looking back on it, it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but for me, school has always been that way. I am the epitome of being a perfectionist, despite my parents’ opposition to it. 

With my ever growing schedule of school and extracurriculars this year, I don’t have much free time, and every day I find myself drowning in homework. As a high school student, I feel like whatever I do now reflects what my future might look like such as what college I go to or what career I pursue. As unrealistic as it is, I can’t help but feel that way. 

Yet at the same time, I want to just spend the time I still have with the people I love. It’s a huge internal battle of mine. I’m not too sure how or what to prioritize, and I admit I procrastinate a lot on social media. 

I burn out often, and when I do, I go on Instagram, a social media app, and scroll through videos, wasting more of my time. It’s addicting and a place to get away. I’ve tried to create better habits for myself, but it’s difficult. 

I wish that in my past years in school, I had spent more time with my family and my friends. Because that was when I truly had free time with fewer responsibilities. I wish I had spent less time perfecting an assignment or procrastinating and instead went out with my family. 

That brought up the question if I truly was making the most of my life now. If I were to look back at the highlights of my life, would they feature spending time with the people I love and doing things I love to do, or would it show me scrolling my life away on social media? Would it show me worrying over the littlest things? 

I hope that from now on, I’ll be able to live in the present, and to not take the time I have for granted. I hope that I’ll be able to spend time with my family and friends and make memories that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. It’s only a lifetime after all. Are we all really living life to the fullest?