Trump: nation’s misinformed criminal savior

Donald J. Trump, our 2025 to 2029 future president! Yes, he is so amazing at lying all the time! All those lies about the immigrants, past presidential elections, and things that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris say are all 100 percent tooootally true! 

Those immigrants who’ve been eating our cats and dogs are disgraceful. The fact checkers were obviously wrong when they said that that’s never EVER happened before. Trump told us, so it has to be true. Trump would never lie to us, duh!

Trump and his 88 felony charges; don’t we all just really really want a criminal as our president! Trump filed false business records, interfered with the election, and even tried to overturn the 2020 election results. Trump wouldn’t even hurt a fly — he’s that nice.

He’s so nice in fact, his nephew suffers from intellectual and developmental disabilities. When Trump’s brother asked him to spare them some money to help with his surgery, Trump refused to contribute, his brother said. So kind and thoughtful of Trump! He said no to helping his own family because he thought that his nephew was not worth saving. So kind right!

Trump is so informed about schools too! He’s talking about these non-existent gender affirming surgeries in school! Trump talks to a crowd, “Can you imagine you’re a parent and your son leaves the house and you say, ‘Jimmy, I love you so much, go have a good day in school,’ and your son comes back with a brutal operation?” Uhh. Yep, surgery works like that! Go to school, decide you want to change up a bit, and get surgery at school! 

Speaking of the LGBTQ+ community, Trump hates them. And yet, talks about being in love with Kim Jong Un. So according to Trump, gay marriage, trans people, lesbians are all doing bad things. However, once Trump gets some bromance, it’s all okay because Trump would never do bad things. 

I’m so glad that Trump informed us about the solar panels and windmills causing pollution. Using wind and sun to produce energy without putting gunk into the air and water instead of fossil fuels that produce so much CO₂ is so bad! Ew! Discussing O₂ we don’t need that anymore, I’ll just inhale CO₂ from now on.

Thank you all for reading why Trump is our savior and will make America worse again! Go Trump!